The Stoned Private Eye . . . . A 1970’S Noir Thriller Tonight’s Episode “The Treasure Chest”

A 1970’s Noir Thriller

The 1960’s were a historic era of cultural and political upheaval worldwide, and Los Angeles along with San Francisco were at the west coast epicenters.

The 1970s amped the Vibe; from the grit of L.A, and glitz of Hollywood, to the sunny beach-lined communities north and south of the Los Angeles International Airport.

There was a thriving evolution of new ways to live, to expand one’s mind, and new ways to do business. And one of the rising big businesses was within the Drug Culture.

The times were ripe for anyone to grab the reins and take hold of whatever they could. All ideas, trends, and concepts if not new, were brought forward from the past to be celebrated. With these near daily new enterprises and concepts came great ideas implemented for the good and some for the bad.

William Trent, a young private investigator, maintains his office and living space above the garages of an adjacent apartment building in the “Ghost Town” area of Venice, California.
The rickety, but sturdy stairs to Will’s office were open for anyone who needed his services.
Will was experienced in both deductive reasoning and altered states of consciousness. He had taken nearly every drug, hallucinogen, and psychotropic known, and used those experience’s benefits to become successful enough to hold down his own one man investigation business.

There was much to be said for certain stoners’ abilities to use their clouded stoned appearance to actually gain detailed insight on those who momentarily let their guard down due to thinking that they were dealing with just another stoned Hippie.

Tonight’s 1973 Episode: “The Treasure Chest ”

It was a Sunday night and Will was in the middle of watching his favorite TV show “Columbo” when his phone rang and at the same time someone knocked at the door.
He picked up the phone: “Hold just a sec.”, set it down on his desk and went to the door.
Will: “Who is it?”
There was no answer.
Will opened the door, there was an envelope on the mat. Will caught sight of the delivery boy running away down the alley.
Will shut the door and picked up the phone: “Sorry, two things at, (he stops) yes, what can I do for you?”
The person on the other end of the phone hung up.
Will figured if important they’d call back, unless – he looked at the envelope and wondered – unless that call was just a verification of receipt for the sender.

Will sat down at his desk and opened the envelope and inside was a letter that read;
sit down and finish watching Columbo and then meet me at the Reef at 10:30
Will did just that, but during the commercial breaks and before Columbo was over at 10 PM he had a new mystery to solve: who was he to meet?

At the first commercial break Will deduced that it was someone who knew that he’d be watching Columbo, where his office was, and was possibly a local, due to the employ of the local “messenger”, a kid Will had seen around the neighborhood.
Then Columbo came back on.

At the second to last commercial break Will deduced that if the ultimate message was to meet at 10:30 PM then it was probably about business, but why all of the mystery?
Columbo was back on and Peter Falk’s character was just about on the murderer’s last nerve; Will smiles.

It was the last commercial break before Columbo forces the murderer to confess or get caught.
Will had his mystery down to three possible people, but it was just one hint of a moment that gave it all away.
When Will picked the phone up off of his desk and just before the person on the other end hung up there was a sound, a familiar sound, a low breath, a sigh, a sigh that Will knew. He had heard it in his ear many a time. A sound that started with a sigh, that turned into a moan, and then a sexy growl. Yes, Will knew who it was, and so did Columbo, all along, but now the murderer was charged and arrested, and Will solved his little mystery too, it was Daphne.

The Reef was a beachside bar and grill that was known as a sometime hangout to certain levels of criminal clientele. It was not a family restaurant. The waitresses wore skimpy “mermaid” outfits and there was a fight every week that needed to be settled out on the beach.
Other than that, the food was great, the drinks were not diluted, and the pool sticks were straight – it was the table that was warped.

It was 10:30, Will walked in and saw her in a corner booth. Will smiled and sat down across from his friend and sometimes girlfriend, Daphne Rogers.
Daphne smiles: “Shaggy.”
Will acts ashamed like anyone heard or cared: “I thought the Scooby Doo stuff was only for the bedroom.”
Daphne: “It’s for anywhere I want it.”
Will: “You know I never got why I wasn’t Fred, isn’t Fred the obvious guy that would hook-up with Daphne?”
Daphne: “Fred was no fun. Shaggy was an animal in bed.”
Will, now proud of his Shaggy persona: “Why yes, he was.”

After a bit more of fun playful repartee, Will gets down to business.
Will: “What can I do for you?”
Daphne: “I want to hire you to help me locate . . .” she hesitates and is now the one whispering as if anyone heard or cared ”. . . a treasure chest.”
Will trying to hold back any sarcasm: “Really?”
Daphne, building good will and incentive: “We were good together on that jewelry store case.”
Will agrees: “That was fun.” “So what’s the treasure and where’s the chest?”
Daphne: “Well, that’s the tough part, I don’t know, but I know that it exists.”
Daphne opens her purse and unfolds a map.
Will: “Really? A map?”
Daphne: “Yes, my Aunt passed recently and she used to tell tales about a map and a treasure chest, we all just went along with the fun, we all knew that he was just kidding, but look, this was in among her things.”
Will looks at the map: “Where is this supposed to be?”
Daphne: “I don’t know, that’s why I want to hire you, if anyone can decipher this it would be you.”
She continues: “I don’t have any money, but (she says excitedly) I’ll split the treasure with you when we find it.”
Will finds the venture more like chasing an old lady’s fantasy, but sees the expectation in Daphne’s eyes, she really wants Will to join her on this quest.
Will: “Alright, I’m in!”
Daphne gives Will a big smile, folds the map and hands it to him.
Will: “I’ll study this tonight; come over tomorrow around noon and we’ll get started.”
Daphne agrees and they both leave.

Back at his office and home Will sits down at his desk, turns on the lamp, and unfolds the map.
The map is crude with little symbols representing parts of the map. There are triangles that appear to be mountains, an oblong circle that maybe represents a body of water, and an X to mark the spot where the treasure chest is.
Will shook his head thinking that this was really obscure; it could be anywhere, the elements were too generic to be anyplace noticeable.
To get a better look he pulled his extendable round magnifying glass lamp surrounded by a tubular bulb and focused it level and then slowly moved the map.
At first this only revealed the magnified world of paper fibers, discolorations, smudges, foreign particles, and . . . a fine line, and then another, lines so fine that without the magnifying glass it was not seen by the naked eye.

Will noticed that the paper was a sort of cheap vellum, a kind of paper that has different grades of transparency.
He set his favorite old ‘50s lamp on the floor, took apart a framed picture from his wall, removed the glass, laid the glass on the large flat top of the shade, and laid the map on top of the glass, then he turned on the lamp.

The fine lines were everywhere. As Will stood over the map he could see that the symbols that were plain to see before, were now parts of a bigger picture. There were even thin North, South, East, and West initials at the edges of the map.
Will was sold, this was a bona fide map that someone took a lot of time and care to prepare.
Will was so stoked that he spent the next couple hours taking notes; mental and paper ones.

The next morning he called Daphne and told her to forget noon and to come over as soon as possible as he had good news.

When she arrived Will had drawn the drapes to darken the room. He walked her over to the map on the glass on the lampshade.
Daphne: “What’s this?”
Then Will turned on the lamp.
Daphne: “Will, how did you, look at all, this is amazing!”
Will: “Yes, it is. Now does any of this look familiar to you or would have been relevant to your Aunt?”
Daphne seems deep in thought: “Well, she had a cabin . . .”
Will stops her and points to a place on the map: “Look close.”
Daphne focuses and sees the barely visible lines of a structure, a cabin.
Daphne: “I know where this is, it didn’t look familiar until the cabin, this is up at Malibu Lake.”
Daphne continues: “We only went there a couple weekends in the summer when I was just a kid; she sold it long ago.”
Will: “That’s alright as the X is near, but not at the cabin.” “C’mon, let’s take a ride.”

They drove up Pacific Coast highway to Malibu Canyon into the Santa Monica Mountains to Mulholland Highway and then onto Lake Vista Drive.
Will: “Should I just cruise or do you remember where your aunt’s place was?”
Daphne: “It’s on the other side of the lake.”
Once on the other side of the lake Daphne pointed: “Will, turn up this next street.”
The street was in a wooded area as was the whole area surrounding the lake.
Daphne told him to keep going, and at the end of the rural street was the cabin, it hadn’t changed, it looked the same as she remembered it.

Will: “Well, Mystery Incorporated have arrived.”
Daphne smiles at Will: “Now we just have to find the X.”

Will starts to get a strange feeling; so far the vibes have been fun in detecting clues and getting to this point, but something was off.

Will: “Does anyone else in your family know about this map?’
Daphne: “Not that an actual map exists, but sure, like the treasure chest It was just a little family fun that no one really believed.”
Will: “Then why did you?”
Daphne: “Because one night when I was a kid I stayed at her house in town while my parents went out for the evening and she told me something very seriously, she said, “When I’m gone don’t forget about the treasure.” “Then I grew up and forgot, until now.”
Will: “Did she ever say what the treasure was?”
Daphne: “No, that was the mystery, no one believed she had anything of real value, or what would constitute a treasure.”

Will motioned to Daphne to follow him. There were no cars about the cabin so Will went to the front door and knocked, there was no answer. They both peeked through windows to see what they could see. The place was vacant, no one was living there.

Will pulled out a magnifying glass from his car’s glove box and put the flashlight under the map near the cabin and the X. There, through the magnifying glass and underneath a smudge were what looked like tiny dots or little tiny footprints that led from the X to the cabin. While they could have been part of the smudge, Will thought not.

Will and Daphne went around behind the cabin and Will jimmied the door open, they went in. Will told her to look for a hidden door. They searched the whole house there was nothing that looked or acted like a hidden door, but as Daphne passed by a window she saw an old barn out back and remembered that her aunt told her not to go into the barn because it was dangerous; she never said why and Daphne never asked.
Once she told Will they both headed for the barn.

Will opened the barn door just enough for them to slip inside. It was dark and dank. Will used the flashlight to quickly scan the insides; there were old rusty tools, remnants of musty hay and straw on the ground, some wooden pallets, tarps, and an old ‘53 Ford pickup truck flat on the ground with no tires or engine.

Will was stumped. Even though the map was not to scale, Will wanted to check out the area between the cabin and wherever the X may be.
Daphne, from over behind the truck: ”Will, you need to see this.”
Will joins Daphne looking at the truck bed missing a tailgate.
Daphne: “Does that look like, a doorknob?”
Will reaches down and pulls the truck bed “door” open to reveal an opening in the ground with a few wooden steps that stop and become rock steps that lead down.

Will and Daphne look at each other with kid-like smiles.
Daphne was a lot like Will in her curiosity of mysteries and her adventurous nature. Although she was an employee at a major department store her night and weekend amateur sleuthing was her obsession, and she actually helped Will out on a successfully-solved case.

Will turned on his flashlight and took the dozen or so steps down and then Daphne followed. Will shined the light down an apparently man-made narrow tunnel. They both walked cautiously and Daphne took Will’s hand. The tunnel seemed to be on a descending path and had a couple turns, and around one a faint illumination could be seen reflected on the walls, then around another bend the illumination was brighter. Will turned off his flashlight.

Will and Daphne both peeked around the edge of the tunnel wall – Scooby-Doo style.

They had gone deeper underground than they thought. The light source came from what looked like a filtered hole in the cave’s ceiling and shone down on an old chest.

Again, Will and Daphne look at each other with kid-like smiles.
Daphne starts to move toward the chest and Will stops her.
Will still sensed a negative vibe.
Daphne: “What? C’mon let’s see what’s in the chest!”
Will: “Hold on a minute, what was it your Aunt told you about the barn, to never go in there because it’s dangerous.”
Daphne: “But it’s not, there’s the treasure, right there.”

Will realizes that the Aunt not only told her not to forget about the treasure, but also to beware of the barn, which seemed a contradiction as the barn led to the treasure.

Will: “Maybe the barn wasn’t the only entrance.”
Daphne: “So?”
Will: “So look around the chest, see that white around it on the ground, that looks like Sodium Hydroxide and when mixed with water is caustic, it will dissolve your skin.”
Will deduces: “There’s a tripwire or activator between us and the chest that will trigger the water source and activate a moat of lye.”

Will scans the walls with his flashlight and stops on a rock wedged at the corner of the floor and wall. There was the slightest discoloration from water around its edges, probably condensation from a minute underground tributary from the lake – unplugged it was the water source.

At this point Will didn’t want to test deactivating any trigger where there may even be a second one. That rock looked innocent and not tied to anything, but Will was smart when it came to this level of derring-do, it was derring don’t.

Will: ‘“C’mon, let’s see if we can find another way in.”
Daphne: “But, but . . “

They backtrack through the tunnel and up out of the truck bed as Will rewalks a mental above ground route in his mind.
He takes Daphne’s hand and starts walking in the direction of the underground treasure chest.
As he mentally walked off the steps and bends in the tunnel, he began to feel the vibe, they were near.

The overgrown brush was thick around the trees but opened to a little clearing where an ornate circular headstone served as a solo pet cemetery for Daphne’s Aunt’s family dog, Buster.
Will walked behind the headstone and looked closer, there on the backside bottom seemed to be a hinge disguised within the base’s antique designed cement sculpture. Will reached out and pulled on the headstone; it tipped backwards revealing a hole.

Will took out his flashlight and shined it down the hole.
Will: “Daphne take a look at this.”
Will held the flashlight as Daphne looked down the hole – there directly below, about twenty feet down was the treasure chest!

Just then Will and Daphne heard leaves crunch to see two men in skull masks with guns.
Skull 1: “Where’s the treasure?”
He cocks his gun pointed at Daphne.
Skull 2 cocks his gun pointed at Will: “We’re not kidding, don’t end up like the ol’ lady.”.
Daphne is angered, these were her Aunt’s killers, Will grabs her arm to restrain her.

Will acting all chummy and nonchalant: “Hey, guys no need for violence, we found a way in but she got scared (Will casually points to Daphne with a “chicks, man” attitude) so we turned back and were looking for another way in when you guys showed up.”
Skull 2: “Show us this other way in. Not both of you.” He motions for Will to show Skull 1 the way in. “I’ll stay here with the girl.”
Skull 2 sits down on a boulder with his gun trained on Daphne.

Will goes back underground with a gun to his back. When they finally reach the opening in the cave with the treasure chest in the middle Skull 1 moved to Will’s side to get a better view, that’s when Will took advantage of the moment, nailed him with his flashlight, and knocked him up against the rock wall which caused his gun to hit the ground and skid across the cave floor into the Sodium Hydroxide. Will ran back through the tunnel to rescue Daphne.

Skull I shakes off the hit, forgets about Will, and yells to Skull 2: “I found it, I found the treasure.”
I can’t open the lid, it’s . . . AAAAAAGHH!

Skull 2 stood up, and as he moved toward the screams coming from the headstone, Will’s running leap from a small rock ledge took down Skull 2 but did not dislodge his gun. Will was up and ready for action with Skull 2 ready to shoot him, when Daphne, with a tree limb bigger than herself, whacked the mask off Skull 2’s head along with some scalp – he was out.
Will was impressed: “Thanks Daphne.”
Daphne: “Back atchya Shaggy.”

With the killer unmasked Daphne makes a discovery: “That’s my brother-in-law!” “He killed my Aunt!”
She goes over and kicks him hard a couple times.
Will: “He’ll pay.”

Will rips the unconscious killer’s shirt off of him and uses it to tie his hands behind his back and at his ankles.
Will: “Now let’s get that treasure.”
Will runs back to his car, gets his trusty rope with a metal hook, and returns to play fish with the chest’s handles. While not a good fisherman, he was good with space relationships and gauged the hook-up correctly.

Once above ground they carried the chest off to Will’s car, loaded the chest in the trunk, and left for the nearest payphone. Will reported to his local P.D. guy that the two killers of Daphne’s Aunt were underground and in the woods; both needing an ambulance, and warned of the Sodium Hydroxide underground.

Back at Will’s place they lugged the chest upstairs and set it down on the floor. It was old and it looked just like the ones that pirates kept their treasures in, only smaller. The brass bands were oxidized and the lock popped open with just the right amount of applied crowbar pressure.

Will removed the lock, stood up and looked at Daphne: “Well, here it is, the result of the treasure hunt, open it up.”
Daphne looked at the chest, got down on her knees, reached out, and was just about to open it when she stood back up.
Daphne looking enlightened: “Will, if I open it one of two things, well, maybe three, but two for sure; will come about; there will be something of value or nothing of value.”

Will, knowing where she was going with this line of thinking: “You won’t know until you open it.”
Daphne: “What if I never open it. What if that is the treasure; the value of the unknown, the exciting possibility of something that could be life changing, positive or negative, or neither, or just an empty chest filled with an old lady’s dreams?”
Will, with a response he knew she’d appreciate: “You have come along nicely Grasshopper.”
Daphne smiles and is glad she made this journey with Will.

After a pause, and while they both look at the mystery treasure chest before them.
Will: “The decision is always which is more valuable; an answer, which will become a fact, or the unknown, which will maintain the thrill of mystery for as long as you want.” “It’s your choice.”

.

Copyright 2018 00individual TLL
Written spontaneously over a few hours during August 17 – August 19, 2018 with only The Stoned Private Eye, The 1970s, The Treasure Chest, and a Noir Vibe as inspiration.

The Stoned Private Eye . . . . A 1970’S Noir Thriller Tonight’s Episode “The Halloween Party”

A 1970’s Noir Thriller

The 1960’s were a historic era of cultural and political upheaval worldwide, and Los Angeles along with San Francisco were at the west coast epicenters.
The 1970s amped the Vibe; from the grit of L.A, and glitz of Hollywood, to the sunny beach-lined communities north and south of the Los Angeles International Airport.
There was a thriving evolution of new ways to live, to expand one’s mind, and new ways to do business. And one of the rising big businesses was within the Drug Culture.

The times were ripe for anyone to grab the reins and take hold of whatever they could. All ideas, trends, and concepts if not new, were brought forward from the past to be celebrated. With these near daily new enterprises and concepts came great ideas implemented for the good and some for the bad.

William Trent, a young private investigator, maintains his office and living space above the garages of an adjacent apartment building in the “Ghost Town” area of Venice, California. The rickety, but sturdy stairs to Will’s office were open for anyone who needed his services.
Will was experienced in both deductive reasoning and altered states of consciousness. He had taken nearly every drug, hallucinogen, and psychotropic known, and used those experience’s benefits to become successful enough to hold down his own one man investigation business.

There was much to be said for certain stoners’ abilities to use their clouded stoned appearance to actually gain detailed insight on those who momentarily let their guard down due to thinking that they were dealing with just another stoned Hippie.

Tonight’s 1974 Episode: “The Halloween Party”

October 31, 1974, it was All Hallow’s Eve and everyone at the party was in costume, including Will, he was enjoying the evening fun by dropping some reliable acid and showing up as a Priest. While maybe not an original choice, the last ten months of the aftershock of the “scariest movie of all time”, “The Exorcist”, was still fresh in everyone’s mind; Will felt vindicated. And he also felt that he may need to perform an “exorcism” that night.

The party was given by a music producer who was one of Will’s past client’s. He had a Gothic styled mansion on the beach cliffs of Broad Beach in northern Malibu.
The interior was designed and rigged by Hollywood special effects crews to resemble a haunted mansion with cobwebs, suspenseful lighting, and remote-control ghosts, monsters, and skeletons around every corner.

There was a secret surprise scheduled and timed as a “midnight special” Halloween sight and sound extravaganza with all of the scary elements and some as yet unseen coming to life. Will knew about this; he had a friend on the crew.

One of the Producer’s bands, famous for their “Shock Rock” performances, hit albums and singles, played live for the ballroom filled with monsters, vampires, witches, outer space aliens, and the undead.

Halloween was always a fun day and night to trip, as the night’s fantasy took on a surreal parallel universe where everyone is the same, only different, with masks to cover their personality for a night, to be free to take on another.

Will was unmasked, deliberately, he never wanted his peripheral vision blocked. In his line of work, evil took joy in a sucker-punch, Will took joy in seeing it coming – and cutting it off.

But tonight it was all fun, just seeing old acquaintances, meeting new people, and tripping out. Will was nearly as well known as some of the celebs, rockers, and stars in attendance; only his notoriety was not worldwide, nor nationwide, but within the “discreet” locals of Los Angeles.

The party was rockin’; there were wild creative costumes, people were drinking, dancing, getting high, and having a great time. Will stood at a second story railing overlooking the ballroom of gyrating monsters, vampires and ghouls.

People were moving up and down the second story walkway until one stopped near Will, and from behind him he heard in a sexy voice: “Forgive me Father for I have sinned.”

For a second there Will felt what it was like to have someone confess their sons to him. In his psychedelic state, he realized that no mortal can give absolution to another mortal, heck, he didn’t believe that even immortals could, that’s something that someone can only do for themselves.

He turned to see a friendly face, Melody Anders, the younger sister of a childhood friend.
Melody: “Will!”
She put her arms around him and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.
Will, surprised: “Melody. Wow, nice makeup, you’ve got the sexiest zombie award for sure.”
Will, a bit hesitant: “It’s been a couple years.”
Melody: “The Stones, the Palladium, my freedom, and you. I had a great night.”
Will: “Me too.“
Melody, kinda proud: “You must wonder why I’m here, I made myself a nuisance around town until I got an A&R job after I brought the label two talented bands.”
Will: “That’s great, really, congratulations, and your Brother would be, is, very proud of you, I am sure.”
Melody: “I miss him.”
Will: “So do I.”

Will takes her hand and they descend the stairs to the dance floor where Will starts to playfully dance with her.

Will lets the psychedelia take him away, these are rare moments, where the real world has been transformed into a supernatural reality – a usual fun aspect of a normal acid trip. But now Will was on another level where everywhere he looked was real, therefore any hallucinatory aspects would be beyond the anthropomorphic beings all around. It is moments like that when it is easy to let go, give in to the cosmic, live the realistic illusion.
And this was it, the realistic illusion: Will was giving absolution to a beautiful undead girl while dancing and rockin’ out to some serious fun Shock Rock.

Then, all of the lights went out. The only visible image was the ballroom’s second story windowed dome that framed a full moon and stars.
Before anyone could panic the lights came back on to everyone’s applause, and the band in typical Rock tradition picked-up right from where they were unplugged.

When around so many people Will’s vibe reading was hard to single anyone out, it was all a blur, unless something very evil was introduced into the mix.

Will asked Melody if she wanted to go outside and catch some sea air. They walked out to the cliffs where other monsters and outer space creatures where taking in the full moonlit night.

Sexy as she was in her undead mini-skirt, Will could see that she was cold, and gave her his Priest’s robe. Will and Melody had this weird hot relationship; he knew her as a little girl, a teenager, and a young woman, and as the younger sister of a good friend who died in Vietnam. They had history.

Will held her close and as their tongues slowly intertwined, Will savoured the moment as he, a priest, was makin’ out with a beautiful undead woman that he had feelings for – this was psychedelic love.

Will always, well almost always, gave in to the psychedelic excursions into the wild, as long as he had his Psychedelic Buddy there to remind him: “Maintain, it’s the drug, Man.”.

He had experienced many things on hallucinogenics, but knew that even though his Psychedelic Buddy’s words were Tribal Truth, there was an unspoken truth that sometimes those experiences were real.

Psychedelics have the power to provide access to another plane, another dimension, or a separate reality; which could merely be a vibration away, and as real as the current universal “agreed upon” reality.

And sometimes, psychedelics provide straight access to one’s higher self.
Right now Will’s higher self was obliterated by primal urge.
Will looked into the undead woman’s eyes and said: “Let’s go.”
Melody smiled, agreed, and they made their way to the mansion’s back door.

About halfway through the mansion toward the front door the lights went out again.
Less than a minute later the lights came back on to an aborted round of applause.
There were men in clown costumes – with guns.

From Will’s view he could see an armed clown at the back door and an armed clown at the front door and two more to the sides with another probably in a getaway clown car, five clowns total; Will had a quick psychedelic image of clown after clown coming out of a Volkswagen Beetle, and couldn’t believe he could clown around at a moment like this.

The demands were simple; wallets, cash, jewelry – and under the threat of death everyone complied – no one wanted to test the threat.

As the Clowns gathered their loot, Will waited until a Clown came for his valuables. Will was wearing a very valuable-looking fake cross and when the Clown demanded his wallet and cross, Will said no.
And before the situation devolved into a “hand it over or I shoot the girl” situation Will made an unexpected move.

Will, after glancing at his watch and in a loud voice: “I don’t know who you clowns are, but there are Demons that just love your kind, unlike me, a man of the cloth, they have no mercy.”

The Clown at the front door, stepped forward as the leader.

Will raised his hand looking at his watch again: “On this Hallowed evening, let the dead rise and celebrate the good and damn the evil.”
Will ended by pointing his damnation at the Leader Clown.
Leader Clown, angry: “Who is that, clown, er, a, priest? Take him . . . ‘
With one last glance at his watch Will interrupts loudly: “May God smite you Clowns!’”
Nothing happened.
Will again, loudly: “May God smite you Clowns!’”
The lights went out again only this time spectral ghosts appeared and drifted around the ballroom, accompanied with horrible howls and groans. Monsters moved out from the shadows and bats flew about – and people screamed – it was the timed midnight celebration of special effects!

Will smiled and used the distraction to easily disarm the Clown next to him and execute a quick gunfisted karate chop to the neck.

Will moved Melody off to the side and motioned for her to stay as he moved low among the scared people toward the back door, and used the blocked peripheral side view of the armed Clown’s mask to blindside him with one perfectly-placed punch, and he was out. Will motions for people to leave out the back.

As even more effects, emerging dry ice, shrieks and wails, lightning flashes, strobes, and more animatronics join in the cacophony, the Leader Clown sees that he has lost control and yells to his men and heads for the door.

In the meantime Will had exited through the kitchen out the side and to the front of the mansion and approached the getaway car driver.
The second that the driver looked at Will’s priest collar, a normal distraction, Will punched him in the face unconscious.

The Leader Clown and the two others with their bags of loot ran for the getaway car.
Just as they are ready to grab the car door handles, the car moved ahead a few feet, they try again, the car leaps forward out of their reach.
Will is having a little fun knowing the risk so he lines up the car and with the leader on the driver’s side and the other two on the passenger’s side, unlocked the automatic doorlocks and punched it in reverse, kicked open the passenger’s door and opened the driver’s side door wide – hitting all three and taking off two doors.

Will felt incredibly invigorated, ready to go another round.
By then someone had called the cops; there were sirens approaching.
Will could see Melody amongst all of the other partiers leaving a Halloween Party they’d never forget.

Melody sees Will, and hand in hand they run off to their cars. She gets in her car and Will tells her to follow him.
Will sees in his rear-view mirror the Clowns get up and limp away with the other costumed partiers, some of them clowns as well. These guys were gonna get away with it.

Back at Will’s, Melody asked him: “That was some Hellfire Preachin’ – you were scaring me.”
Will: “I knew about the midnight timed celebration and preachin’ allowed me to take advantage of the distraction.”

While both were experiencing exciting adrenaline rush residue from the insane Halloween party, Melody, still in undead makeup, and Will, all in black in his priestly white collar, decided to consummate the fantasy in Will’s bedroom.

After bathing in the psychedelic afterglow of a lustful and devout union of necrophilia, Will’s mind began to take on the baser elements of being the Stoned Private Eye, nagging questions, things just enough out of place that they create a mental itch.

As Melody dosed off, Will realized that wasn’t a random robbery, it was well-planned in advance, but not planned too well, more of an opportunistic robbery, as they weren’t aware of the midnight special. That would safely eliminate any crew involvement, they pulled it off as scheduled and inadvertabtly helped foil most of the robbery.

Although this was an invitation only party, there were staff who planned and carried it out, within those groups there was someone with enough juice to know a “gang” that could pull this off.
The culprit would be pretty easy to spot if Will were given the chance.

The next morning Will’s priestly duds were on the floor and Melody had risen from the dead and removed her zombie makeup. They were two people who had survived one Hell of a Halloween night.
It was Friday, a workday for both of them.
Melody gathered her things, and Will walked her down the stairs to her car. She gave Will a warm kiss, got in her car and drove off.

Upstairs Will’s mental itch would not go away so he called the Producer and got the names of the companies providing the food and the firm handling the payments and contracts.

Thinking that it would be more efficient to weed out the suits first, as the instigator was probably some out of place underling, he headed over unannounced to the Producer’s attorney and accountant law offices of Dunaway, Redford, and Sydow.

Without saying a word Will had assessed the half dozen employees present, resulting in nothing.
The Receptionist: “Can I help you?”
Will, as he flashes a convincing ‘60’s toy Man From U.N.C.L.E. badge: “Don’t be alarmed but can you tell everyone that they need to leave quietly, the bomb squad is on the way.”

Will holds up his badge as he motions for everyone to quickly leave.
As the employees, accountants, and lawyers file past no one registers with Will.

Then he sees him, Ill-fitted clothes just bought from a used clothes store, sure sign of an ex-con, and out of place here, but obviously being given a chance, yet he already looked guilty as sin for something, he was the “inside man”. This was not the way to begin your life outside prison bars.

As the man walked by, Will felt compassion for the man whose vibe was suppressed anger. But Will felt the man’s anger was not against his employers, but against his controllers.
Will read the man’s name on his badge as he walked by.

Once everyone was out in the lobby Will announced that it was a false alarm.

Will waited outside the building at quitting time and followed the man to his car.
Will, from behind the man: “Ed Barnett.”
Ed Barnett turns and faces Will.
Will: “If you want to save us both some time, and by that I mean prison time for you, just tell me who you’re into and I’ll leave you out of it, before you tell me they’ll kill you or something, what do think they’d be thinkin’ right now, if they saw you talkin’ to me, they’ll find out who I am, a private investigator, and you become a liability; expendable.”
Ed: “You don’t know what it’s like in there, it follows you outside.”
Will: “You help me now and worst they’ll maybe just extend your probation, you get caught up in this any deeper and you’re back in for assault with a deadly weapon, robbery, grand theft, and a lot more, even as an accessory before the fact, you’ll still see a few years, so . . .”
Ed: “Fuck you, you’re just like the cops, act like you give a shit until you get what you want.”
Will: “I can call right now and have you arrested for breaking probation, don’t ask for what, whatever will get you in a room where the questions won’t be so nicely presented to you like I am doing.”
Will: “For God’s sake man, give yourself a break, start over, I hear Arizona’s nice, or any place where no one knows you, but right now I need a name.”
Ed knows Will is right, and realizes he needed to get out of sight and out of trouble’s mind.
The name Ed gave Will felt true, and if so, roadies’ took a hit.

The name was “Wild Bill” Halloran ex-cellmate of Ed Barnett and current roadie for the Shock Rock Band that played at the party. Wild Bill probably pressured Ed with his life for the party information and to add them to the guest list in order to plan the robbery with other ex-cons; only Wild Bill didn’t know about the midnight special either.

Will took all of this to his local P.D. connection with only Wild Bill Halloran as the instigator, there was no mention of Ed as Wild Bill was too angry at the cons who he blamed for the screw up, so he took them down with him.

Will took credit for breaking and solving the case and his P.D. connection made the collar.

This case pissed-off many cops, for while they were out taking down “information” from the celebs and stars who were at the party, Will was out solving the case.

Will didn’t really have a client for this “case” but he did receive a hand-delivered envelope full of one hundred dollar bills from the Producer with a note of thanks and to please meet with him at his earliest convenience.
Will called him up and arranged a meeting for that afternoon.

.

Copyright 2018 00individual TLL
Written spontaneously over a few hours during July 30 – July 31, 2018 with only The Stoned Private Eye, The 1970s, The Halloween Party, and a Noir Vibe as inspiration.

The Stoned Private Eye . . . . A 1970’S Noir Thriller Tonight’s 1971 Episode: “Out Of Body, Out Of Mind”

The 1960’s were a historic era of cultural and political upheaval worldwide, and Los Angeles along with San Francisco were at the west coast epicenters. The 1970s amped the Vibe; from the grit of L.A, and glitz of Hollywood, to the sunny beach-lined communities north and south of the Los Angeles International Airport.

There was a thriving evolution of new ways to live, to expand one’s mind, and new ways to do business. And one of the rising big businesses was within the Drug Culture. The times were ripe for anyone to grab the reins and take hold of whatever they could. All ideas, trends, and concepts if not new, were brought forward from the past to be celebrated. With these near daily new enterprises and concepts came great ideas implemented for the good and some for the bad.

William Trent, a young private investigator, maintains his office and living space above the garages of an adjacent apartment building in the “Ghost Town” area of Venice, California.  Will’s office was open for anyone who needed his services.

Will was experienced in both deductive reasoning and altered states of consciousness. He had taken nearly every drug, hallucinogen, and psychotropic known, and used those experience’s benefits to become successful enough to hold down his own one man investigation business.

There was much to be said for certain stoners’ abilities to use their clouded stoned appearance to actually gain detailed insight on those who momentarily let their guard down due to thinking that they were dealing with just another stoned Hippie.

Tonight’s 1971 Episode: “Out Of Body, Out Of Mind”

The sun had set, darkness took over.
Street lights came and went on Wilshire Boulevard as William Trent, the Stoned Private Eye, took a drag on a cigarette-sized joint, as he headed home after closing another case.

Home was his standalone apartment/office above garages in Venice. He liked his place, the rent was good, the functionality was perfect, and he had a great view – the only drawback was that it was on the outskirts of Ghost Town, a notorious crime area dominated by the Black and Mexican gangs.

Will had made peace with the denizens of Ghost Town by offering free services that didn’t involve crime or violence, and early on these free cases helped hone his craft.

When presented with his first professional case he used that acquired knowledge with the assist of psychedelics, fine deductive reasoning, and the ability to sense a vibe to solve the case.

He advertised in the L.A. Free Press, and took an ad out in the telephone book’s Yellow Pages.

After successful solved cases within a cross-section of society over a two year period, Will’s business no longer needed advertisements as “word of mouth” clients kept him busy.

Around that time he became known in certain circles as The Stoned Private Eye; the reason was simple, Will did some of his best work while tripping on psychedelics, and joints were like cigarettes to him.

As he pulled into his back alley parking area, he saw the now familiar flashing lights from a police car bouncing off the walls of the homes and businesses at the other end of the alley.

Will backed-in his parking space, and as he climbed his rickety but sturdy stairs he admired the placement he had made of a mirror at the top of the stairs under the eave. From his desk inside he had a perfect view of the stairs and the garage area.

Will was stoked that he solved his latest case in time as he had a ticket for the next day, Sunday June 14th, to see The Who live at Anaheim Stadium. He and his seven Rock Fiend friends in a two car caravan were totally privileged to be able to see, hear, rock. and experience The Who.

The Who performed on a raised stage at home plate, Will and friends literally staked-out third base with a flag ninety feet from the stage, but they were miles high as they all took Double Dome or White Lightning LSD, or both. It was as if the whole stadium was apart from this world and the Who’s sound was the energy that powered their wedge of the world and charged their bodies and minds. It was the first and last concert Will went to where everyone was high on LSD – everyone.

Will was so jacked and high from the incredible feelings of empowerment, of virility, of life – the power of Rock ‘n’ Roll – that he decided to never let those feelings go, never let them fade away, to always remember those feelings for as long as he lived.

Will’s introspection and self-improvements were honed on LSD and other mind-altering psychedelics; for at some point in the trip the real Will would stand before him with questions, hard questions. And honest answers showed ways to prioritize and eliminate those things that hindered his progress.

People who don’t know what they want to do with their lives, which career to pursue, what path to take, all have a choice. People who are given a gift, can see it as a blessing or a curse, but none of them have a choice.

It took a long time before Will realized that people did not see the world the way he did. He saw and experienced everything just as everyone else did, but from a different angle, not visually, but, creatively, in thought and perception, like seeing past the obvious and then past that.

After a great apres-concert celebration and group Hashish smoke-out at one of the Rock Fiend’s pads in the L.A.X. area, Will had to jam as he had a client to meet first thing in the morning.

On the short drive to Venice Will cranked up the Who’s “Live at Leeds” cassette and rocked all the way home.

After smoking a morning bowl and somewhat still psychedelicized from the previous day and night’s rockin’ festivities, Will sat awaiting a hot cup of coffee at The Grotto, a small restaurant in the Marina. He checked his watch, he was early for his meeting with Roy Archer, a friend of a past client.

Will thanked the waitress as she set his mug of coffee on the table.

After sipping the hot coffee, Will looked up to see a man scanning the Grotto for Will.
Will stood and waved him over. They shook hands and sat down.

Mr. Archer: “Thanks for meeting with me Mr. Trent.”
Will: “What can I do for you Mr. Archer.”

As Archer spoke, Will assessed his vibe; this was a guy who just claimed that he had an OOBE, an Out Of Body Experience, and was visibly shaken by it, because while in that state, he saw a murder, or attempted murder.

Will: “What caused, . . . have you had any recent trauma?”
Archer: “No, nothing, I was at home, and I felt weird and sat down and as I closed my eyes I felt myself get up but I was still in the chair, then I was walking down a street, no one was around, and I heard a scream, and when I looked down an alley to see where the scream came from I saw a man strangling a woman until she went limp, I couldn’t move, I froze, he just looked at me and gave me an evil grin and pointed at me, and then ran away. I walked toward the dead woman, only she wasn’t dead, she was choking and coughing, and when I went to help her I looked around and I was still in my chair.”

Will: “You could have dozed off. What makes you think that this was something other than a vivid dream?”
Archer: “This wasn’t my first OOBE experience, I’ve had a few, but not like this.”
Will: “What made this one different?”
Archer: “Because I saw him, yesterday on the bluffs, he’s real.”

Will’s read on Archer was strong, not only was he telling the truth, but he had a weird vibe, not of a psychic, but of a sensitive, one who like Will can sense a vibe, only with Archer it’s in the form of an OOBE, with Will, a connection.

Will: “I’m not sure what you want me to do.”
Archer: “I heard you dealt with these kinds of cases, so I need you to stop this guy, he knows who I am.”

Will fears his quick rise to underground P.I. notoriety came with tales bordering on the supernatural, when in the end it was just deduction, action, and a little cosmic knowledge.

Will understands different states of consciousness can be as real, if not more than real, on some levels. For Archer this was all too real.

This “case” was interesting but Will realized that Archer needed to speak with someone whose specialty was how to approach what at the time was considered lunacy.

Will got it, but even with the ever expanding raising of consciousness of society as a whole, there was a stigma attached to the whole Counter-Culture extremists that in turn trivialized the realities of cosmic concepts for the masses.

Will actually saw this disregard as a natural safeguard, a filter that kept Occult (hidden knowledge) where it belonged; among those that held respect for the possibilities given.
And for those reasons Will took Archer’s case.

After moving the conversation to Will’s office and going over all of the details Will decided that they should literally cut to the chase and set Archer up for bait, and see what happens.

Although Archer was not too keen on the idea, Will assured him that he would be right there, he needed proof that this was real, and if so, to end it.  

Mr. Archer knew he would never get this far with anyone else and wisely agreed.

That night Will met Mr. Archer near where he saw the Strangler, it was on the bluffs in Santa Monica, high above Pacific Coast Highway overlooking the Santa Monica Pier.

The plan was for Mr. Archer to walk one end of the bluff, that being south to the pier, and then return with Will shadowing him undetected.

They waited until dusk turned to night and began the walk. As they got closer to the pier Will began to consider that even if true, it could be tonight, or any night, or day, for anything to happen.

The closer to the pier, the more people were walking around enjoying the bluff’s palm tree-filled park-like “strand” and the view.

Will hung back as Mr. Archer made his turn back-tracking to the car. Will waited as Mr. Archer passed him by while eyeing everyone within view, then he leaned forward from the pole he was leaning against and continued shadowing Mr. Archer.

A few blocks before the end and near where their cars were parked, the palm-tree lined bluff took on a spooky look, just then Will got a chill and a man rushed Mr. Archer from out of nowhere, took him down and began to strangle him but Will dove in and pulled him off.

As they rolled, Will grabbed on to the Man’s coat. The Man just pulled himself from out of the coat, looked at Will with an evil grin, pointed at him, and like an animal, dove off the bluff into the heavy vegetation.

Will stood up holding the coat, and looked down over the bluff: “What was that?”
Mr. Archer comes up from behind: “That was proof.”

It was rare to have another level, dimension, reality, whatever one calls it, bleed into this reality, but people experience that nearly every night in their dreams. A normal reality disrupted by fantastic tales of limitless realities.

But why would an encounter during an out of body experience manifest into reality?
There had to be an explanation, because for Will, even with a foot in two worlds, they never crossed, they touched, but they never crossed.

Will took the license from the wallet of the coat the Strangler left behind and ran it straight over to his connection at the local police department; Will’s past tips had earned his guy points in the department. Will waited for the results which came back quickly. The coat and credentials were from a dead man.

Will was on an uphill learning curve with this case that now seemed like a rollercoaster ride that could plunge to its depths at any moment.

Will needed to stop the cosmic stuff and look at this like the Stoned Private Eye would.
He was sitting with strong evidence of the possibility of a corporeal manifestation triggered by an OOBE, a dream manifestation, or the dead coming back to life.
Or Mr. Archer was wrong, and he didn’t have an out of body experience but a premonition. Will deduced that a premonition as being the most probable.

Will convinced Mr. Archer that if it were a premonition, that with his help they might still be able to save her, and even solve the mystery.

It is said that the brain’s capacity in its fully operative state would be able to literally move mountains, and as far as memory storage – limitless. Therefore, there exists a very probable theory that one’s brain remembers everything.  It has logged every second of one’s life, and everything surrounding those seconds; the environment, weather, time of day, mental state, clothes worn, and so on.

Will went to his car and returned with his trusty shiny pocket watch to hypnotize Mr. Archer in hopes of getting him to remember specifics of the area where he saw the woman attacked.

He realized that Mr. Archer’s altered-state visuals were probably framed in fog. Like most dreams, hallucinations, OOBE’s, premonitions, NDE’s (Near Death Experiences), and most memories for that matter, the peripherals of what is being experienced seems to fade to the degree that only the primary images are “seen”. However, even in those states the mind sees all, remembers all, senses all, it just has to be tapped.

Will’s pocket watch did the trick; Mr. Archer’s revisit of the crime scene revealed the entire picture which directed them not only to the place – in the alley across from the TrustUS Bank off Wilshire Boulevard, but at the time it would take place – the bank had a time and temp electronic readout under the bank’s logo; the time was 10:32, the temp was 64 degrees.

Mr. Archer was hyped, his latent memory had just given them solid clues, now they needed to know the date.

Will had to throw out all of his past theories as there was only one real theory; Mr. Archer “saw” an attempted murder and the suspect, the Strangler, was real, on the loose and probably not dead, but deadly, and there was a woman in danger.

Will told Mr. Archer to follow him to the alley off Wilshire Boulevard. They both got in their cars, drove up Wilshire, pulled over and parked a street down from the alley.
It was 9:45 PM, they had a forty-five minute wait to see if any women approached the area.

Will to Mr. Archer, now in Will’s car: “Does the name Frank Sands ring a bell?”
Archer: “No, why?”
Will: “That’s the name of the Strangler, or he was wearing Sand’s coat.

Will’s balance of the real and the unreal was being tested; the power of deduction and reason was strong but so was his knowledge of the power of the cosmic.  

Will had finally reached the point of understanding whereby he believed in everything, well that’s not true, he believed that everything existed; all religions, myths, gods, histories, geographies, dimensions, stories, idols, animals, minerals, and vegetables and anything imaginable. No one on this plane of existence has the ability, insight, or right, to say what is or isn’t.

Once everything is accepted as a possibility then there is no doubt, no need for debate about that what has been, is, or will be.

Will knew that premonitions on grander scales could take years or decades to come to pass, but that personal, emotional ones usually come to pass quickly, at the height of their energy, and of their emotion.
Will felt that tonight was the night, the night that the energy was the strongest.

Archer, as he points across the street: “Look.”
A group of five women were walking up the block to a parking structure.
Two of the women got in a car parked on the street and waved goodbye to their other three friends.
The threesome walked to the edge of the alley, said goodbye to their friend, and continued on up the block as their friend entered the alley.

Will looked at the time and temp; it was 10:31. He got out of the car and sprinted across the street as did Mr. Archer.
The woman continued to the parking structure’s entrance.

Just as Will rounded the corner of the alley he saw the Strangler, much like Mr. Archer described, choking the woman to death, only Will didn’t freeze, he ran straight for the Strangler while screaming like a wild animal thus quickly getting his attention.

The Strangler looked surprised and dropped the woman, turned and ran, then looked back and with an evil grin pointed at Will.

But then something unexpected happened, when the Strangler turned back to continue running he tripped and fell head first into a dumpster.

Will, seeing that the woman was coughing but alive, started to run toward the Strangler when Mr. Archer stepped out from behind a dumpster.
Will ran up to see an unconscious Strangler and an out of breath beaming Mr. Archer.
Archer: “I remembered which store was down from the attack, I tore through there, out the back, and boom!”

Mr. Archer calls an ambulance for the woman and the cops for the Strangler using the payphone at the end of the alley.

Will handcuffed the Strangler to a dumpster using a spare set he kept in his car.
The Strangler was not the undead, the blood that ran down his face from head-butting the dumpster was red.

Mr. Archer pointed out the woman and the Strangler to the ambulance driver, and to avoid having to answer questions when the cops arrived, Will and Mr. Archer slipped around the corner got in their cars and met back at Will’s.

————————————————————

Mr. Archer didn’t get high, he never had, he was an accountant at a law firm and never had the opportunity presented to him. Will changed that.

There was a myth of sorts that the first time one gets high they don’t really feel it. That would be the case if they didn’t inhale. If you inhaled, you got high every time, including the “first time”, especially the first time.

Will told Mr. Archer to inhale and hold it in his lungs and then slowly exhale to prevent from coughing. Mr. Archer was a quick learner and was allowing the restrictions of his position in society to be put on hold to enjoy these glorious moments of a freedom and exhilaration he had never known.

Once they were both sufficiently high, Will told Mr. Archer: “I’ll find out who the Strangler is, and his relationship with the woman, my local guy will be able to give me that info.”

Mr. Archer is too stoned to continue with the charade: “No need, I know who he is.”

Will looks at him in the most surprised look he could muster with his eyes going from mere slits to half open: “Wha’ ?”
Archer: “I wasn’t sure, which is why I hired you, everything I told you was true, except one thing.”
Will waits: “And that is?”
Archer: “That while I now see that what I thought was an out of body experience was really a premonition of the immediate future, and  . . .”
Will getting impatient: “And?”
Archer: “And I knew who the Strangler was, and I guess he knew who I was.”
Will, impatient: “Because?”
Archer: “He was the coke-head husband of the woman I was having an affair with.”
Will, now wide-eyed: “What?”
Archer: “You see, I wasn’t sure, it could’ve been her speed-freak boyfriend.”

With that response Will just looks at Mr. Archer and is speechless.

Archer: “Hey, I may look unassuming, but the ladies, they like “The Archer”, what can I say, except, can I get some of this Marijuana Weed from you?”

.

Copyright 2018 00individual  TLL
Written spontaneously over a few hours during August 9 – August 12, 2018 with only The Stoned Private Eye, An OOBE, The 1970’s, and a Noir Vibe as inspiration.