The Stoned Private Eye . . . . A 1970’S Noir Thriller Tonight’s Episode “The Halloween Party”

A 1970’s Noir Thriller

The 1960’s were a historic era of cultural and political upheaval worldwide, and Los Angeles along with San Francisco were at the west coast epicenters.
The 1970s amped the Vibe; from the grit of L.A, and glitz of Hollywood, to the sunny beach-lined communities north and south of the Los Angeles International Airport.
There was a thriving evolution of new ways to live, to expand one’s mind, and new ways to do business. And one of the rising big businesses was within the Drug Culture.

The times were ripe for anyone to grab the reins and take hold of whatever they could. All ideas, trends, and concepts if not new, were brought forward from the past to be celebrated. With these near daily new enterprises and concepts came great ideas implemented for the good and some for the bad.

William Trent, a young private investigator, maintains his office and living space above the garages of an adjacent apartment building in the “Ghost Town” area of Venice, California. The rickety, but sturdy stairs to Will’s office were open for anyone who needed his services.
Will was experienced in both deductive reasoning and altered states of consciousness. He had taken nearly every drug, hallucinogen, and psychotropic known, and used those experience’s benefits to become successful enough to hold down his own one man investigation business.

There was much to be said for certain stoners’ abilities to use their clouded stoned appearance to actually gain detailed insight on those who momentarily let their guard down due to thinking that they were dealing with just another stoned Hippie.

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Tonight’s 1974 Episode: “The Halloween Party”

October 31, 1974, it was All Hallow’s Eve and everyone at the party was in costume, including Will, he was enjoying the evening fun by dropping some reliable acid and showing up as a Priest. While maybe not an original choice, the last ten months of the aftershock of the “scariest movie of all time”, “The Exorcist”, was still fresh in everyone’s mind; Will felt vindicated. And he also felt that he may need to perform an “exorcism” that night.

The party was given by a music producer who was one of Will’s past client’s. He had a Gothic styled mansion on the beach cliffs of Broad Beach in northern Malibu.
The interior was designed and rigged by Hollywood special effects crews to resemble a haunted mansion with cobwebs, suspenseful lighting, and remote-control ghosts, monsters, and skeletons around every corner.

There was a secret surprise scheduled and timed as a “midnight special” Halloween sight and sound extravaganza with all of the scary elements and some as yet unseen coming to life. Will knew about this; he had a friend on the crew.

One of the Producer’s bands, famous for their “Shock Rock” performances, hit albums and singles, played live for the ballroom filled with monsters, vampires, witches, outer space aliens, and the undead.

Halloween was always a fun day and night to trip, as the night’s fantasy took on a surreal parallel universe where everyone is the same, only different, with masks to cover their personality for a night, to be free to take on another.

Will was unmasked, deliberately, he never wanted his peripheral vision blocked. In his line of work, evil took joy in a sucker-punch, Will took joy in seeing it coming – and cutting it off.

But tonight it was all fun, just seeing old acquaintances, meeting new people, and tripping out. Will was nearly as well known as some of the celebs, rockers, and stars in attendance; only his notoriety was not worldwide, nor nationwide, but within the “discreet” locals of Los Angeles.

The party was rockin’; there were wild creative costumes, people were drinking, dancing, getting high, and having a great time. Will stood at a second story railing overlooking the ballroom of gyrating monsters, vampires and ghouls.

People were moving up and down the second story walkway until one stopped near Will, and from behind him he heard in a sexy voice: “Forgive me Father for I have sinned.”

For a second there Will felt what it was like to have someone confess their sons to him. In his psychedelic state, he realized that no mortal can give absolution to another mortal, heck, he didn’t believe that even immortals could, that’s something that someone can only do for themselves.

He turned to see a friendly face, Melody Anders, the younger sister of a childhood friend.
Melody: “Will!”
She put her arms around him and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.
Will, surprised: “Melody. Wow, nice makeup, you’ve got the sexiest zombie award for sure.”
Will, a bit hesitant: “It’s been a couple years.”
Melody: “The Stones, the Palladium, my freedom, and you. I had a great night.”
Will: “Me too.“
Melody, kinda proud: “You must wonder why I’m here, I made myself a nuisance around town until I got an A&R job after I brought the label two talented bands.”
Will: “That’s great, really, congratulations, and your Brother would be, is, very proud of you, I am sure.”
Melody: “I miss him.”
Will: “So do I.”

Will takes her hand and they descend the stairs to the dance floor where Will starts to playfully dance with her.

Will lets the psychedelia take him away, these are rare moments, where the real world has been transformed into a supernatural reality – a usual fun aspect of a normal acid trip. But now Will was on another level where everywhere he looked was real, therefore any hallucinatory aspects would be beyond the anthropomorphic beings all around. It is moments like that when it is easy to let go, give in to the cosmic, live the realistic illusion.
And this was it, the realistic illusion: Will was giving absolution to a beautiful undead girl while dancing and rockin’ out to some serious fun Shock Rock.

Then, all of the lights went out. The only visible image was the ballroom’s second story windowed dome that framed a full moon and stars.
Before anyone could panic the lights came back on to everyone’s applause, and the band in typical Rock tradition picked-up right from where they were unplugged.

When around so many people Will’s vibe reading was hard to single anyone out, it was all a blur, unless something very evil was introduced into the mix.

Will asked Melody if she wanted to go outside and catch some sea air. They walked out to the cliffs where other monsters and outer space creatures where taking in the full moonlit night.

Sexy as she was in her undead mini-skirt, Will could see that she was cold, and gave her his Priest’s robe. Will and Melody had this weird hot relationship; he knew her as a little girl, a teenager, and a young woman, and as the younger sister of a good friend who died in Vietnam. They had history.

Will held her close and as their tongues slowly intertwined, Will savoured the moment as he, a priest, was makin’ out with a beautiful undead woman that he had feelings for – this was psychedelic love.

Will always, well almost always, gave in to the psychedelic excursions into the wild, as long as he had his Psychedelic Buddy there to remind him: “Maintain, it’s the drug, Man.”.

He had experienced many things on hallucinogenics, but knew that even though his Psychedelic Buddy’s words were Tribal Truth, there was an unspoken truth that sometimes those experiences were real.

Psychedelics have the power to provide access to another plane, another dimension, or a separate reality; which could merely be a vibration away, and as real as the current universal “agreed upon” reality.

And sometimes, psychedelics provide straight access to one’s higher self.
Right now Will’s higher self was obliterated by primal urge.
Will looked into the undead woman’s eyes and said: “Let’s go.”
Melody smiled, agreed, and they made their way to the mansion’s back door.

About halfway through the mansion toward the front door the lights went out again.
Less than a minute later the lights came back on to an aborted round of applause.
There were men in clown costumes – with guns.

From Will’s view he could see an armed clown at the back door and an armed clown at the front door and two more to the sides with another probably in a getaway clown car, five clowns total; Will had a quick psychedelic image of clown after clown coming out of a Volkswagen Beetle, and couldn’t believe he could clown around at a moment like this.

The demands were simple; wallets, cash, jewelry – and under the threat of death everyone complied – no one wanted to test the threat.

As the Clowns gathered their loot, Will waited until a Clown came for his valuables. Will was wearing a very valuable-looking fake cross and when the Clown demanded his wallet and cross, Will said no.
And before the situation devolved into a “hand it over or I shoot the girl” situation Will made an unexpected move.

Will, after glancing at his watch and in a loud voice: “I don’t know who you clowns are, but there are Demons that just love your kind, unlike me, a man of the cloth, they have no mercy.”

The Clown at the front door, stepped forward as the leader.

Will raised his hand looking at his watch again: “On this Hallowed evening, let the dead rise and celebrate the good and damn the evil.”
Will ended by pointing his damnation at the Leader Clown.
Leader Clown, angry: “Who is that, clown, er, a, priest? Take him . . . ‘
With one last glance at his watch Will interrupts loudly: “May God smite you Clowns!’”
Nothing happened.
Will again, loudly: “May God smite you Clowns!’”
The lights went out again only this time spectral ghosts appeared and drifted around the ballroom, accompanied with horrible howls and groans. Monsters moved out from the shadows and bats flew about – and people screamed – it was the timed midnight celebration of special effects!

Will smiled and used the distraction to easily disarm the Clown next to him and execute a quick gunfisted karate chop to the neck.

Will moved Melody off to the side and motioned for her to stay as he moved low among the scared people toward the back door, and used the blocked peripheral side view of the armed Clown’s mask to blindside him with one perfectly-placed punch, and he was out. Will motions for people to leave out the back.

As even more effects, emerging dry ice, shrieks and wails, lightning flashes, strobes, and more animatronics join in the cacophony, the Leader Clown sees that he has lost control and yells to his men and heads for the door.

In the meantime Will had exited through the kitchen out the side and to the front of the mansion and approached the getaway car driver.
The second that the driver looked at Will’s priest collar, a normal distraction, Will punched him in the face unconscious.

The Leader Clown and the two others with their bags of loot ran for the getaway car.
Just as they are ready to grab the car door handles, the car moved ahead a few feet, they try again, the car leaps forward out of their reach.
Will is having a little fun knowing the risk so he lines up the car and with the leader on the driver’s side and the other two on the passenger’s side, unlocked the automatic doorlocks and punched it in reverse, kicked open the passenger’s door and opened the driver’s side door wide – hitting all three and taking off two doors.

Will felt incredibly invigorated, ready to go another round.
By then someone had called the cops; there were sirens approaching.
Will could see Melody amongst all of the other partiers leaving a Halloween Party they’d never forget.

Melody sees Will, and hand in hand they run off to their cars. She gets in her car and Will tells her to follow him.
Will sees in his rear-view mirror the Clowns get up and limp away with the other costumed partiers, some of them clowns as well. These guys were gonna get away with it.

Back at Will’s, Melody asked him: “That was some Hellfire Preachin’ – you were scaring me.”
Will: “I knew about the midnight timed celebration and preachin’ allowed me to take advantage of the distraction.”

While both were experiencing exciting adrenaline rush residue from the insane Halloween party, Melody, still in undead makeup, and Will, all in black in his priestly white collar, decided to consummate the fantasy in Will’s bedroom.

After bathing in the psychedelic afterglow of a lustful and devout union of necrophilia, Will’s mind began to take on the baser elements of being the Stoned Private Eye, nagging questions, things just enough out of place that they create a mental itch.

As Melody dosed off, Will realized that wasn’t a random robbery, it was well-planned in advance, but not planned too well, more of an opportunistic robbery, as they weren’t aware of the midnight special. That would safely eliminate any crew involvement, they pulled it off as scheduled and inadvertabtly helped foil most of the robbery.

Although this was an invitation only party, there were staff who planned and carried it out, within those groups there was someone with enough juice to know a “gang” that could pull this off.
The culprit would be pretty easy to spot if Will were given the chance.

The next morning Will’s priestly duds were on the floor and Melody had risen from the dead and removed her zombie makeup. They were two people who had survived one Hell of a Halloween night.
It was Friday, a workday for both of them.
Melody gathered her things, and Will walked her down the stairs to her car. She gave Will a warm kiss, got in her car and drove off.

Upstairs Will’s mental itch would not go away so he called the Producer and got the names of the companies providing the food and the firm handling the payments and contracts.

Thinking that it would be more efficient to weed out the suits first, as the instigator was probably some out of place underling, he headed over unannounced to the Producer’s attorney and accountant law offices of Dunaway, Redford, and Sydow.

Without saying a word Will had assessed the half dozen employees present, resulting in nothing.
The Receptionist: “Can I help you?”
Will, as he flashes a convincing ‘60’s toy Man From U.N.C.L.E. badge: “Don’t be alarmed but can you tell everyone that they need to leave quietly, the bomb squad is on the way.”

Will holds up his badge as he motions for everyone to quickly leave.
As the employees, accountants, and lawyers file past no one registers with Will.

Then he sees him, Ill-fitted clothes just bought from a used clothes store, sure sign of an ex-con, and out of place here, but obviously being given a chance, yet he already looked guilty as sin for something, he was the “inside man”. This was not the way to begin your life outside prison bars.

As the man walked by, Will felt compassion for the man whose vibe was suppressed anger. But Will felt the man’s anger was not against his employers, but against his controllers.
Will read the man’s name on his badge as he walked by.

Once everyone was out in the lobby Will announced that it was a false alarm.

Will waited outside the building at quitting time and followed the man to his car.
Will, from behind the man: “Ed Barnett.”
Ed Barnett turns and faces Will.
Will: “If you want to save us both some time, and by that I mean prison time for you, just tell me who you’re into and I’ll leave you out of it, before you tell me they’ll kill you or something, what do think they’d be thinkin’ right now, if they saw you talkin’ to me, they’ll find out who I am, a private investigator, and you become a liability; expendable.”
Ed: “You don’t know what it’s like in there, it follows you outside.”
Will: “You help me now and worst they’ll maybe just extend your probation, you get caught up in this any deeper and you’re back in for assault with a deadly weapon, robbery, grand theft, and a lot more, even as an accessory before the fact, you’ll still see a few years, so . . .”
Ed: “Fuck you, you’re just like the cops, act like you give a shit until you get what you want.”
Will: “I can call right now and have you arrested for breaking probation, don’t ask for what, whatever will get you in a room where the questions won’t be so nicely presented to you like I am doing.”
Will: “For God’s sake man, give yourself a break, start over, I hear Arizona’s nice, or any place where no one knows you, but right now I need a name.”
Ed knows Will is right, and realizes he needed to get out of sight and out of trouble’s mind.
The name Ed gave Will felt true, and if so, roadies’ took a hit.

The name was “Wild Bill” Halloran ex-cellmate of Ed Barnett and current roadie for the Shock Rock Band that played at the party. Wild Bill probably pressured Ed with his life for the party information and to add them to the guest list in order to plan the robbery with other ex-cons; only Wild Bill didn’t know about the midnight special either.

Will took all of this to his local P.D. connection with only Wild Bill Halloran as the instigator, there was no mention of Ed as Wild Bill was too angry at the cons who he blamed for the screw up, so he took them down with him.

Will took credit for breaking and solving the case and his P.D. connection made the collar.

This case pissed-off many cops, for while they were out taking down “information” from the celebs and stars who were at the party, Will was out solving the case.

Will didn’t really have a client for this “case” but he did receive a hand-delivered envelope full of one hundred dollar bills from the Producer with a note of thanks and to please meet with him at his earliest convenience.
Will called him up and arranged a meeting for that afternoon.

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Copyright 2018 00individual TLL
Written spontaneously over a few hours during July 30 – July 31, 2018 with only The Stoned Private Eye, The 1970s, The Halloween Party, and a Noir Vibe as inspiration.

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